Ain't nothing but a hambone

First, the good news ... Mom has been discharged from the hospital.  You wouldn't exactly say she was "well", but she's HOME, and that's a gigantic step in the right direction. She is thoroughly exhausted and feeling a bit out of time and place, but three weeks in the hospital will do that to a person. She has good people to help out during the day, and B and I are looking at the calendar, trying to figure out how to carve a few days out of the end-of-the-school-year-madness for me to go to Iowa.

In other news:  guess who performed in her very first school show this week?



WB was thrilled at the prospect of being IN A SHOW, with songs to learn and people coming to watch and oh my word, CLAPPING.  She just knew there would be clapping.  "Mom! People will clap! FOR ME!!! And then I do this (insert demonstration of a deep courtier's bow, hand at her waist, head practically touching the floor)."

Add in the fact that Eldest promised to come, and WB left for school on the day of the show practically vibrating with excitement.

When the big moment came she filed into the room with the rest of her friends and took her place. They did a little warmup, then began the program.

They sang "Do-Re-Mi" from Sound of Music, "Sidewalks of New York" ....



tripping the light fantastic


and several other songs which I cannot recall. Just now I tried asking WB what they sang at her show on Wednesday.

"Do, a dee-ah," she replied, "a naybee see-ah ..."

Which is when I realized that while she performed with gusto, and enjoyed every second of her time on stage, she didn't actually know the lyrics of the songs she was singing.  We tried to jog her memory.

"How does the rest of that song go, WB?" Her Ladyship asked.  "The one about the deer?"

"Do, a dee-ah," sang WB obligingly ..."a naybee see-ah.
Come, and let us play togevah!"

She bowed, and looked at us expectantly.  (Why weren't we clapping?)

"The deer is a Navy SEAL?" Eldest said.  "Cool!"

"Isn't there more to that song?" Her Ladyship asked.

WB was flummoxed.

"Re," I sang, prompting, "a drop .... of ... golden ... "

WB looked confused.

I tried again.  "Something about Mi?"  She stared.  "A name I call myself?"

WB shrugged, and sang the bit she knew one more time, encouraging us to come and play together.

"That's great!" we all said, and gave her a round of applause.  "You're such a good singer!"  She grinned with pride and gave us a sweeping bow.

Sometimes you have to give up being "right" and just meet them where they are.

(And let's not forget, it wasn't long ago that this kid couldn't talk at ALL.  That she was able to get up sing in a group like this was a tremendous reminder of how very far she's come.)

***********

Knitting alert!

I'm sure that no one will be surprised to learn that I've finished some more socks.



these are for Eldest


Although I am still in "stress-sock-knitting" mode, as things began to settle down this week, I decided that I felt like tackling a little color work.  Enter SpillyJane's "Iluminine" (Ravelry link).



Illuminine was the "Official Mitten" of NaKniMitMo '12.  I purchased the kit from Sunday Knits during the knitalong, and it's been burning a hole in the stash ever since.  So far, it's been tremendous fun to work up ... the yarn (Sunday Knit's "Eden" and "Angelic") is lovely and soft, and the pattern, well-written as Jane's patterns always are.

I'm hoping for a relaxing weekend, with no medical crises to deal with and nowhere particular to be. I just want to sleep a bit more than usual, enjoy my family, get caught up on a few chores, and have enough time left over to watch some tv and knit.

It is my hope that during the next few days, Life will decide to just meet me where I am.

Fingers crossed.

Joys and concerns

One big, overarching concern (Mom ... still ... always .... although we're getting plans in place so she can go home) .... lots of joys.

Eldest went to his senior prom last Friday ....



and took his last final exam this morning.  Graduation, then college orientation, on the horizon.

I made cake pops for the pre-prom party, which was a lot of fun.




I discovered Smash, aka "guilty pleasure TV for musical theater nerds" on Friday, and have spent every free minute since watching it online (in addition to full episodes, Hulu has lots of extras, like "The Higher You Get, the Farther You Fall",  featuring a high-octane performance by Norbert Leo Butz.)

In the days leading up to Dad's birthday Mom, my brother and I did a fair amount of talking about how best to mark the day; we wanted to do something, but couldn't think what.  It was Eldest who suggested sending flowers to his grave, which is too far away for any of us to visit in person. We were able to order an arrangement of roses and spring flowers from a local florist (we specifically asked for roses because Dad grew them in the back yard, and in season would cut one every morning for Mom to take with her to work), which my aunt picked up and delivered to Dad's grave. They were lovely, and just right.

May 19th wasn't just Dad's birthday, it was also Duke's. Dad really wasn't an animal person, so their shared birthday was a running family joke ... this year we did some remembering, and had cupcakes in their honor after dinner. Duke always enjoyed his annual cupcake.


cupcakes, yes.  party hats, not so much.

The dogs and I went to our local dog park Sunday morning, where they caught the eye of a local photographer, and Leo's retrieval instincts finally overcame his fear of the water.



And today a nice man came to the house and installed an electric fence, so soon I will no longer have to spend several hours a day standing outside while the dogs do this:



(Not to mention repeatedly having to drag them back from the neighbors' yards ... or, memorably, the neighbors' houses.  Yes.  Houses, PLURAL.  That's not embarrassing at ALL.)


Jasper says, "How can you be mad at this face?"

And forward we go ...

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." 


~ Ralph Waldo Emerson




photo credit: Happily Ever After Photography


Who knew that you could feel someone's presence and absence at the same time, in equal measure?


Happy birthday, Dad.  I miss you.

Beggars

Look how well they sit when there are dog treats at stake.





p.s.  Mom is settling in for a long hospital stay.  I'll be going out to be with her at some point, but for now she is safe and on the road to feeling better.  Thank you all so much for your good thoughts and prayers.

Diversion

Mom went home from the hospital at the end of last week.

Yesterday she went back.

It is where she needs to be, and she is in excellent hands, but .... I'm still in Massachusetts.  My personal definition of "torn" is expanding by the day.

Shall we distract ourselves by looking at something pretty?  How about WB's new sweater?



It's a Tiny Tea Leaves, made with Tosh Vintage.  And I love everything about it.



The yarn is beautiful, and was a joy to work with.  Debbie at The Woolpack helped me find the perfect buttons.  It will look as good with jeans as it does over a dress.



Even better, WB thinks her new sweater is "puhfict".



Which is the part I love most of all.

10

This past weekend, B took Young'un to Funspot in Laconia, NH for a little one-on-one time.

Highlights for the boy included unlimited arcade tokens, 10 pin bowling, go-cart racing, and getting to spend the night in hotel.



Tonight we will have his family party: spaghetti and meatballs, cake and gifts.

On Saturday, we have invited several of his friends over to the house to play laser tag.

It's more of a birthWEEK than a birthDAY, but a person only moves into double digits once in their lifetime.

And this kid is totally worth celebrating.



Happy birthday, Young'un!

Love,
Mom

Tumult and grace

The week so far:

Sunday:

Mom goes back into the hospital, after the symptoms she's been struggling with since her hospitalization last month went into overdrive. From late morning on, I am juggling calls with Mom, my brother, and my mother's neighbors. The timing is terrible, because I am heading into the busiest two weeks I've had so far this year, one of my brothers is heading out of the country on business, and the other is completely unavailable.

B and I start to consider how we'll handle my absence if I need to go back to Des Moines immediately, and -- depending on what the doctors decide is going on with Mom -- what we're going to do longer-term. I wish she was closer. I hate being this far away. Also? The poor woman has been to hell and back since Dad died. It would be nice if the Universe could give her a break.

In the afternoon, Eldest and I attend Aaron's memorial service. The weather is exactly what he would have ordered: cold, windy, and pouring rain. Around 100 people huddle together under tents on the grounds of the Old Manse and remember our dear friend.

 Note of grace: the lilacs at the Old Manse were in glorious bloom. Aaron would have loved them.

 

Monday:

Calling Mom on the phone every hour or so. Realize at 9A that I forgot an important meeting at the high school, so scramble to get WB a place at her "new church" (the after-care program she goes to once or twice a week). The meeting was long, but went well.

The play for which I am musical director has its first tech ... I am late to rehearsal because Mom's doctor calls to fill me in just as I get there. Once things get underway, I have to leave the auditorium several times to field phone calls/texts/emails from worried family members.

Onstage, the kids forget all of their dances and most most of the music they've been working on for 12 weeks. This happens with every show, and they always pull it out, but it is anxiety-producing, nonetheless.  I thank God for our pianist, who run things in the pit during my absences.

Note of grace: in looking for a new ball of sock yarn, I find a project that has been lost in the stash since I put it into time out in February of 2007. The child I planned to give it to is now far too big, but it will be perfect for my cousin's grandson, who is still without a handknit sweater.

Tuesday:

Calling Mom on the phone every hour or so; she's having tests run later in the day, but no one is sure exactly what time. We are all looking forward to and dreading what they might reveal.

B's car needs repair for the third time in as many weeks; I attend a meeting at the elementary school, then head up to the dealership. The dealership is not a terrible place to hang out. They provide GOOD hot coffee, donuts, and a coupon that entitles you to a free meal in the cafe. PLUS a big-screen TV and free wireless. I know that none of this is really FREE, but it does make getting your car repaired less of an ordeal. I am anticipating a two hour wait. 30 minutes after I get there, however, the service rep calls me back to say that I would really be better off taking the car (which is 10 years old) to a cheaper shop. So I pack up my knitting, my laptop, and my snack and head off down the road to M*das ... and spend those two hours in much more utilitarian -- and heavily air-freshener-scented -- surroundings.  I miss my scheduled appointment to go to the yarn shop with a friend  who has commissioned me to knit a sweater for her daughter.

I plan to attend a memorial that afternoon (for our former neighbor), but dealing with the car makes me miss the service. I am able to drop in to the reception afterward and pay my respects. What I forget to do is take Her Ladyship to her standing doctor's appointment.

That evening we have another tech rehearsal. This cast is just as lost as the first. I am home by 9P, then spend the next two hours on the phone with Mom, and various family members.

Note of grace: M*das may not be as fancy as the dealership, but they fix B's car for a tenth of the price, and get me out in time to grab a bite to eat before picking up WB at "new church".

Wednesday:

I call Mom as soon as the kids are off to school. She tells me that her doctor says she's going to be discharged. Considering how sick she has been and the fact that she lives alone, this strikes me as a bad idea. Much of the morning is spent making MORE phone calls to her doctors, social workers, and keeping my brother updated via email. By late in the day, her doctors decide to keep her at least one more night, while we wait for further test results and get some practical supports in place.

Eldest decides where he wants to go to college. With this taken care of, I can start planning our summer; by the end of the afternoon the younger kids are registered for camp and we have chosen the dates for our family vacation.

The first cast has its dress rehearsal. It is rough. "The worse the dress rehearsal, the better the performance!" I chirp encouragingly.

I am not sure they -- or their parents -- believe me.

Note of grace: Mom's doctors have ruled out several of the bigger, scarier things that they were considering.

Another note of grace: ELDEST DECIDED WHERE HE WANTS TO GO TO COLLEGE!!! (and the school is in a town with a yarn shop. My strategy totally worked.)

Thursday:

As I type, I've been awake for five hours. In that time I've gotten everyone off to school, talked to Mom (she may be going home this afternoon ... which is fine with me, as long as she's well and strong enough to do so), and done two loads of laundry.

Young'un has a half day, so he'll be home at noon, then Her Ladyship has an appointment, and the second cast has their dress rehearsal, which I anticipate will be ... uncertain. But I know they know the material, and maybe Tuesday's experience was enough to scare them into remembering it. Either way, we'll get them through it.

Note of grace: The day is still young, but so far I am enjoying the fact that I have had the house to myself since 8:25, with no interruptions. In a week like this one, this is a tremendous blessing.

Oh! And my bleeding hearts are blooming.



 p.s. I am sure this will surprise no one, but I've been knitting socks. Four pair have come off my needles since the end of March:



Ommmmmmmmmmmm.