I got back to Massachusetts on Sunday, and it's been a hard week, made even harder by the Mood WB has been in. She has taken four-year-old bossiness to new and dizzying heights ... she tries to control who can or cannot enter a room, tells anyone who attempts to talk to her that they cannot be her friend any more, asks for a hug or kiss and then barks "NO!" when you comply. At her class holiday party I learned that she'd gotten into trouble every day this week, mostly for refusing to cooperate with completely reasonable requests (e.g. putting her coat on before going out to the playground). My neighbor had her over for an hour this morning so that I could get some work done, and apparently the girl spent several minutes shouting at the baby gate that prevented her from going upstairs.
Being in her company is a PURE DELIGHT.
"You were gone for 10 days!" my friend Tanya reminded me. "In the middle of that they all came out to join you, then they left and you stayed behind ... did you think you were going to get away with that without paying for it?"
Poor WB. The world as she has always known it changed dramatically in a very short period of time, of course she's reacting by trying to control everything.
All we can do is ignore the negativity the best we can, let her know that it is o.k. to be sad about losing Grandpa and Duke, and, most important, show her through words and deeds that even when things change, there are an awful lot of people who love her (even when she's being a complete and total pill), and that she's going to be o.k.
I think another part of the problem is that it doesn't look very much like Christmas around here. When I left for Des Moines our Christmas cards had arrived, but as of today, they're still sitting in a box on my desk. I need to write our annual newsletter before I send them out, but my heart just isn't in it. I managed to get my shopping done (largely thanks to Amazon Prime), but the only decorating I've managed so far is to hang wreaths on the door and porch, and I did that the day I left town.
Well, now, that's not quite true. I have done some decorating, just not in my own house. My folks had planned to decorate their house the weekend Dad died, so one of the things my brother and I did while we waited for our families to arrive was put up their tree (already purchased, but not yet installed in the living room ... Dad really did dread getting the tree set up) and prepare the living room for guests with a few of the decorations I remember so well from my childhood.
Frankly, I'd really prefer to let things go this year ... but A) that wouldn't be fair to the children, who love Christmas, and B) it is the last thing on earth Dad would want us to do. "You have to at least have a tree!" he'd say.
And he would be right.
So this afternoon I shook off my own Mood and rounded up the kids to go shopping. We had to go to a couple of farm stands before finding one that had anything to sell (apparently waiting until the afternoon of December 23rd to buy one's Christmas tree isn't Done around here), but eventually found a nursery that had a handful left.
We BOUGHT the tree, but haven't put it up yet ... that will have to wait for tomorrow night, after B and the kids have finished their shopping and Eldest comes home from work. We'll decorate the tree and hang the stockings, but I'm not sure how much else will get done ... the cards have to wait until next week, for sure, and it's a safe bet I won't get any baking done. No matter.
It's slow going, but we'll get there.
And everything will be o.k.
Being in her company is a PURE DELIGHT.
"You were gone for 10 days!" my friend Tanya reminded me. "In the middle of that they all came out to join you, then they left and you stayed behind ... did you think you were going to get away with that without paying for it?"
Poor WB. The world as she has always known it changed dramatically in a very short period of time, of course she's reacting by trying to control everything.
All we can do is ignore the negativity the best we can, let her know that it is o.k. to be sad about losing Grandpa and Duke, and, most important, show her through words and deeds that even when things change, there are an awful lot of people who love her (even when she's being a complete and total pill), and that she's going to be o.k.
I think another part of the problem is that it doesn't look very much like Christmas around here. When I left for Des Moines our Christmas cards had arrived, but as of today, they're still sitting in a box on my desk. I need to write our annual newsletter before I send them out, but my heart just isn't in it. I managed to get my shopping done (largely thanks to Amazon Prime), but the only decorating I've managed so far is to hang wreaths on the door and porch, and I did that the day I left town.
Well, now, that's not quite true. I have done some decorating, just not in my own house. My folks had planned to decorate their house the weekend Dad died, so one of the things my brother and I did while we waited for our families to arrive was put up their tree (already purchased, but not yet installed in the living room ... Dad really did dread getting the tree set up) and prepare the living room for guests with a few of the decorations I remember so well from my childhood.
Frankly, I'd really prefer to let things go this year ... but A) that wouldn't be fair to the children, who love Christmas, and B) it is the last thing on earth Dad would want us to do. "You have to at least have a tree!" he'd say.
And he would be right.
So this afternoon I shook off my own Mood and rounded up the kids to go shopping. We had to go to a couple of farm stands before finding one that had anything to sell (apparently waiting until the afternoon of December 23rd to buy one's Christmas tree isn't Done around here), but eventually found a nursery that had a handful left.
We BOUGHT the tree, but haven't put it up yet ... that will have to wait for tomorrow night, after B and the kids have finished their shopping and Eldest comes home from work. We'll decorate the tree and hang the stockings, but I'm not sure how much else will get done ... the cards have to wait until next week, for sure, and it's a safe bet I won't get any baking done. No matter.
It's slow going, but we'll get there.
And everything will be o.k.
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